ONE NIGHT, ONE PERSON, ONE COMMENT: A LESSON ON PURE LOVE AT CASTRO DISTRICT
If you have ever been to San Francisco, your experience was most likely paying ridiculously high prices for pretty much everything, little to no eye contact from anyone walking at high velocity down the street, and the street fashion ranging from a vast array of dark-colored hoodies, black suits or yoga pants.
But, there is a place in the city of billionaire dreams that is like a Disneyland for adults where you can find cheap drinks, get hugs and compliments from random strangers, and clothing is optional. The place I am talking about is the Castro district.
This place played a key role in my life-changing time living in this town. The people that make this place what it is touched my heart. One night in particular changed me: the first night I went there after moving to the Bay Area for college.
It was Halloween and a bunch of my classmates and friends went there for a fun night out and to experience this new city we all had left our countries for.
Two guys had dressed up as Roman soldiers with a cape, bare upper body, and plastic swords as props; one was really drunk and the other one wasn’t. One was turning heads for his hot physique and the other one for his attractiveness and drunk antics. The latter got the former one into trouble. Not sure what happened but it had something to do with a plastic sword and an angry person on the street that ended up with a serious conversation with the police.
This killed pretty much everyone’s mood, so they all went back to the dorms. Except the intoxicated Roman soldier (whose birthday was at midnight), another one of our friends who lived in the city, and myself.
It is important to add to this story that the birthday boy had just come out to me some weeks prior. I was one of the few people in his life that he had come out to, and the only one at our school that knew. We had become so close in such a short amount of time that I knew that partying at Castro for his birthday was important to him. But, I was extremely uncomfortable.
I had never been to a gay bar before, much less a whole district. I had been living in the Bay Area for about a month by the time this happened; after living 21 years in a highly conservative and religious city in Mexico. So, it was a challenging decision for me to make but I was willing to do it because of my friend who had a birthday in a few hours and I had grown to care about him in such a short amount of time.
Since the three of us were of legal drinking age, we went to a bar that the birthday boy had always wanted to go to and the three of us sat in a shared table with strangers. And, while our city friend went to the bar to get drinks for us, the birthday boy was talking to a guy in a cop costume who was sitting next to him, and I just sat there curled up in inner turmoil thinking if my visit there was considered a sin (I was still quite religious by then).
Then, my friend excitedly turned around to tell me that this guy was Mexican too AND gay, to which I gave a quick smirk and went back to revisit my whole Catholic upbringing in my head to figure out if this was something I needed to mention later in confession or not.
My sort-of introspective prayer got interrupted when I saw that the guy leaned over to say something to me. I couldn’t hear what he said so I asked him to repeat it and in those milliseconds of waiting for him to speak again I thought “I’m busted! He probably said that I’m homophobic, that I should leave, and that I wasn’t progressive enough to live in a city like San Francisco” but instead he said:
“You are very beautiful”.
I was genuinely touched by this person’s random compliment. He was probably one of the first people in my life, that weren’t family, to tell me these four beautiful and transformative words. And, it meant a lot more that it didn’t come attached with ulterior motives like getting me to bed or pitching me his app idea.
I had been clearly cold with him earlier and he still chose to be kind to me, a person who represented all those people out there who condemned his and the LGBTQ+ community’s ways of living and loving.
I disposed of my internal guilt-ridden religious dialogue and became more present and decided to look at everyone else in that room (and every room since) as people without labels or prejudices and with loving eyes, just like this guy had done with me. They all seemed free, original, authentic, open…and I liked that.
I came back to Castro several times after that night. Sometimes for a casual lunch or brunch, others to pay a visit to Hot Cookie, others to party; but always came back for the same reason: the friendly, fun, and non-judgmental demeanor of everyone there.
Castro became like a safe haven for me, which I guess sounds a bit strange to hear from a cisgender straight woman. But, my time in San Francisco wasn’t always fun and cool; it was hard…TOO hard at times. And, Castro was like a healing balm for my at-times wounded spirit.
It was nice to go there and be able to strike conversations with anyone without having to put a business card on their hand. This was a place were dance was a form of expression, a way to have fun and burn some calories from our cheap drinks, and not a mating ritual like at any other club or bar. I felt safe and free to live life however I wanted and love every moment, every person, every place. And, for that I will always be grateful for this magical district and that guy I met that Halloween night.
For those who have encountered in me a feeling of openness, acceptance, and random kindness in my time after leaving San Francisco and becoming an activist (and LGBTQ+ ally!), I want you to know that I learned a whole deal about the determination, passion, commitment, and hope for a better world from the people that I met in Castro. This place is a love oasis in the midst of people and ideas that come with dollar signs scribbled on their foreheads.
All my gratitude to them as well as the people who took me there and the ones who add it to their travel itineraries after hearing my stories. My whole gratitude to the LGBTQ+ community for teaching me that love always wins!
